I've Always Known
by Toygerzrock
Summary: Lovelyclaw always knew that she would find love, but she never expected it to be like this!
1. Chapter 1

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I've always known.

**Alright, I really can't stand 1****st****-person, or present-tense, but there was no other way to write this. So, sorry. **

**This is just a fanfic that has been swirling around inside my brain for a while.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Warriors, I would be Erin Hunter. If I were Erin Hunter, I would not be writing and posting things about Warriors on , because I can't be a true fan of my own work.**

**I hate disclaimers.**

* * *

I've always known that I would find a mate.

I've always known that he would be from my own Clan.

But I never knew that I would find him like this.

* * *

"Lovelyclaw!"

I snapped awake. What had I been dreaming about? I felt that something drastically important was to be discovered from this dream. Whatever it was, it would have to wait. I have that funny feeling in the pit of my stomach that says that I was I am about to be on the dawn border patrol. Or maybe it's just that thrush that I ate last night. I thought that it smelled a bit funny.

My eyes sting a little when I step into the morning light. Yup, sure enough, there is Eaglewing, standing up on that log of his; looking smug. He_ always_ looks smug when he organizes patrols. I'm guessing it comes from beating out his brother, Bronzefur for the deputy position. I, frankly, do not understand the whole "competing-for-deputy" thing. It must be a tom thing. I swear, I will never understand them.

I trot over to where the other cats are gathering. In all, there are five of us. My best friend, Swallowwhisper, her apprentice, Smokepaw, Cometstreak and I are all going, along with Bronzefur. I groan inwardly. Bronzefur is the absolute worst cat to go on border patrol with. He always over-marks everything. To make matters worse, he hits on me. All of the time. It really ticks me off. He needs to get the picture that I'm not interested in him. I mean, it has GOT to be hormones or something, because I have blatantly said, "Bronzefur, go away. You creep me out." Ugh.

When we finally get going, I can't help but let my mind wander back to that dream I had this morning. I guess I let it wander a bit too far, because a moment later, I trip over Smokepaw and roll into the stream. Ulch; the water's cold. I open my eyes, and the apprentice is inches away from my face.

"Are you okay?" He asks in his nasally little voice.

"Yes, Smokepaw. I'm fine." I say, and shove the apprentice aside.

"Are you sure? You could have pulled a ligament. You should go ask Lilacstream for some feverfew; you look feverish."

"I'm not sick! Just wet." I meow as I walk past him, flicking him on the shoulder with my tail. Don't get me wrong, he's like a little brother to me. Okay, he is my little brother. But seriously, he has to get over his hypochondriac-ism. It's really annoying.

I give my pelt a little shake, and I can literally feel myself fluffing up to twice my size. Great. I can see Swallowwhisper holding back chuckles. Thanks, Swallowwhisper; that's what friends are for. I give her a mutinous glare, and walk towards Cometstreak.

Cometstreak and I were apprentices together. We weren't best friends or anything like that, but we were pretty good friends. There was a time that I would have preferred hanging out with him instead of Swallowwhisper (which is saying something, because we are practically attached at the hip). Shortly after becoming warriors, though, he started acting strangely around me. I think that he's avoiding me—but I'm not sure why. That's all about to change right now.

"Hey Cometstreak." I mew, trying to strike up a conversation.

"Hey."

"So, what's up with you?"

"Nothing, really." Wow, he really wants to get out of this conversation. Well, I'm not going to let him out that easily; time to change tactics.

"Seeing anybody special?"

"N-no… why do you ask?"

_Did his voice just crack?_

"No reason. Oh, wait, there is. You've been ignoring me for the past three moons!" I say that with a little more anger and volume than I probably should have. Because, now, the whole patrol is staring at me. Fantastic.

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**A/N: Wow, why ever is he avoiding her? As if I didn't already know... :) Please R-and-R!**

**Oh, and I hate cliches, so don't worry, it won't be!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I've Always Known**

**Thanks to ****Blue-Ink-Graffitti, Snowfeather5, and bluesskiesahead for reviewing!**

**Okay, now, I'm introducing more toms, YAY! When you review, put in the name of the tom you think she'll end up with. I'd like to see what you guys think. ******

* * *

I've always known that I would find a mate.

I've always known that he would be from my own Clan.

But I never knew that I would find him like this.

* * *

I stalk into camp, a dead mouse hanging from my jaws. I've fallen well behind the others, but I could care less. Stupid border patrol, stupid stream, stupid Swallowwhisper. Stupid Cometstreak and his stupid she-cat. Stupid day. Stupid, stupid, stupid me.

I'm so deep in my thoughts, that I don't see him. For the second time today, I run into someone. I look up, and I can feel my heart skip a beat. My mouth goes dry, because there, standing in front of me, is Razorstripe.

"Ehh…." I stutter

"Oh, hey Lovelyclaw." His voice is sooo deep!! Ah, I could explode!

"Hi…" Think, think, think!! What should I say…? "So, um… how's the prey running?" IDIOT! We're from the same Clan! I'm carrying a freaking mouse for StarClan's sake!

He's giving me a really weird look. I think I'll go die now…

"So, um, yeah. Love to talk, but I've got to go... Um... groom an apprentice… so, yeah." I say as quickly as possible.

"'I've got to go groom an apprentice?!' Roseheart, why do I even try?" I ask the older she-cat. We're sitting just outside of the nursery, watching her kits tussle.

"Don't worry Lovelyclaw, when you find the right tom, you'll just know. I was awkward around toms before I started talking with Meadowpelt. In fact, I remember this one time when we were on a border patr—SAGEKIT! YOUR CLAWS HAD BETTER BE SHEATHED WHEN I GET OVER THERE!" And, with that, the queen was gone.

* * *

As much fun as watching Roseheart disentangle her kits would have been, I opt out. I decide to go grab myself a bite to eat, so I head on over top the fresh-kill pile. I'm nosing a thrush when I hear somebody clearing their throat behind me. I turn around, and standing there is a very awkward looking Riverwrath. He looks as if he has something to say. I wait a moment, and nothing. One more minute, and still, nothing. I'm about to leave, but then he speaks.

"Ummm… I was wondering…." He breaks off, and looks at me some more. "Oh, never mind." He starts to walk away. I'm not sure what makes me do it, but I decide to call him back.

"Hey, Riverwrath! I was going to go hunting down by the Sky Oak."

That seemed to be all the encouragement he needed, because in less than a moment's time, we're trotting towards the Sky Oak. I look over at him, and I swear, he has the biggest grin on his face. Something tells me that Riverwrath and I are going to be spending more time with each other.

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****DUN DUN DUNNN! Ooh! Curveball! Leave a review, and tell me what you thought! Oh, and don't forget to put in the name of the tom that you think that she'll end up with.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I've always known.**

**Thanks to Idiot Allergy, Snowfeather5, SpottedHeart2646, and ****M. Elspeth Pettigrew (Miss) ****for reviewing. **

* * *

I've always known that I would find a mate.

I've always known that he would be from my own Clan.

But I never knew that I would find him like this.

* * *

Riverwrath and I _have_ been spending a lot of time together. I can't believe that I never got to know him before now; he's such an interesting individual! We've been spending more and more time together recently, and it's been great.

"Okay, okay… favorite color?" I ask him.

"Definitely lavender."

"No way! That's mine, too!" This conversation is not unlike the countless others we've had. I can't even begin to count the things that Riverwrath and I have in common.

We're just about to go down to the stream and hang out, but Eaglewing calls us back.

"Riverwrath! Come join the hunting patrol!" He calls. He's looking smug on that log of his. Again.

"Need another cat?" I ask rather hopefully.

"No," He says, his eyes still scanning the camp, looking for more cats. "If my memory serves me, you aren't the best hunter, and with Tawnystripe ill, and Dewcloud about to kit, we need as much prey as we can get."

"Oh. Okay, then." There's no use hiding the disappointment that I feel. It really sucks knowing that an apprentice can hunt better than you can.

"I think that she's good enough." Great StarClan! That voice... Razorstripe! He's standing up for me!

"Well, Razorstripe, why don't you two go gather herbs for Lilacstream then, because it's as cl;ose to hunting as you are going to get right now." When we hesitate, he barks back at us: "GO!"

Resigned to our task, we head on over to the medicine cat den. I study Razorstripe while he talks to Lilacstream. He's moderate in build, but you can tell that he's really strong. He has a pretty interesting pelt, and if we had kits together, I know that they would be really handsome, just like him. For the most part, his pelt is a dirty sort of cream, but in random places, there are little splashes of tabby. His face is slashed right down the middle; one half tabby, and the other cream.

"Okay, lavender, thyme, catmint, borage, and yarrow. I think that we can handle that." Razorstripe's voice jolts me out of my stupor.

"Yup, we can do that." I add, just to let them know that I was listening. Even though I wasn't.

* * *

I can't believe that I'm actually alone with Razorstripe. After so many moons of trying to talk to him, I finally get my chance. I'm so nervous, that I almost walk right by a nice patch of lavender leaves.

"Here's a patch!" I exclaim, glad that our otherwise fruitless search is finally yielding some results. "Lavender is my favorite color." I say as I pluck some of the herb from the ground.

"Okay." He sounds so uninterested, that I almost get disappointed. But then I tell myself that toms just really don't care about that sort of thing. Except for Riverwrath. I decide to take another stab at a conversation.

"Swallowwhisper says that if I could, I would dye my pelt lavender. She's probably right, too."

Suddenly, his eyes get bright and he perks up.

"Really? That actually reminds me of something…" He pauses. "This is kind of hard for me to say, because I'm not usually very open with my feelings, but…"

Is he going to say what I hope he is? Is he going to tell me that he likes me too, and that he's yearning for me to be my mate?

"Could you talk to Swallowwhisper for me, and find out if she likes me?"

My heart feels like it's been ripped in half.

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****Toms can be so insensitive…. **

**Anyways, please R-and-R!**

**Oh, and just a little side-note… I'm leaving for sleep away camp on Monday, so I'll try to get another update posted before then.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I've Always Known**

**Thanks to Idiot Allergy, Snowfeather5, Mudheart and SilverSparrow19 for reviewing!**

**Alrighty, I know that all of you are thinking that Razorstripe is a big jerk, but to be fair, he didn't know how much Lovelyclaw liked him.**

* * *

I've always known that I would find a mate.

I've always known that he would be from my own Clan.

But I never knew that I would find him like this.

* * *

No. This can't be happening. I've got to be dreaming; I MUST be dreaming. But I know that I'm not. I feel like turning tail and fleeing back to camp, but I don't want to make a fool of myself any more than I already have.

"Yeah, sure," I barely choke out. "Why don't you finish gathering the herbs? I'm feeling sick all of a sudden, and I think I need to go see Lilacstream." I don't give him time to reply before I dart away.

* * *

I didn't go back to camp. Instead, I climbed the Sky Oak. Right now, I'm up as high as I can be without having to worry about the branches giving out. How could I be so mouse-brained? Of course he didn't care about me. Whenever I actually talked to him, Swallowwhisper was right next to me. He just used me to get to Swallowwhisper. I don't think that I'll ever truly be able to believe in love again.

I'm so done with toms. I think that I should just forget all about them, because obviously, all of that fairly-tale junk that you hear about as a kit is just something an elder made up. I'm going to create my perfect tom now, and he'll be my mate. Well, at least he will be in my head. He'd be strong, brave, kind, and ambitious. His name would be Brambleclaw. So that's it. I've got a mate, so now I'm officially finished with toms.

After much contemplating, I decided that I will tell Swallowwhisper what happened. I'll give her Razorstripe's message, and then tell her that she has my blessing. I hate his guts, but Razorstripe could be good for Swallowwhisper, and who am I to stand in her way of a happy ending?

* * *

I grab Swallowwhisper on her way to the fresh-kill pile.

"We need to talk," I mutter. "Privately," She grabs a squirrel and goes into the apprentices' den. Its sun high now and they are all occupied, leaving the den completely empty. I take a deep breath.

"Razorstripe wants to know if you like him."

She stops mid-bite.

"Wh-what?" She stutters.

"Razorstripe LIKES you." I enunciate, very clearly. I think she can hear the hurt in my voice, because now, she looks like she is extremely sorry.

"Oh Lovelyclaw…" She gets up, as if to comfort me, but I stop her.

"Go talk to him; you have nothing to be sorry for. This is your chance for happiness." I had that little speech prepared; getting down from a really tall tree gives you time to think.

"But I know how much you liked him, and I wouldn't feel right…"

"No, it's okay, I already have a mate."

Her expression changes from one of pity, to a look of puzzlement.

"What?"

"Yeah, his name is Brambleclaw," I tell her.

"But there isn't any cat that I know of named Brambleclaw."

"There is one in my head," I say. "And besides, I've given up on real toms, so just go talk to Razorstripe already!" I shove her out of the apprentices' den, not giving her time to reply. She'll never know how much that this hurt, but it's worth it if she gets to be happy. You see, Swallowwhisper has had a really tough life.

When she was a kit, her father was killed in a border fight. Then, when we were apprentices, her brother, Rippaw, got greencough and died. Her mother lost her life to a badger, and her first apprentice wouldn't accept her as a mentor. She really deserves to be taken care of, and I know that Razorstripe will keep her safe.

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****Sorry that I was rambling! It's getting late and I couldn't think of much to write. I'm leaving for camp tomorrow, so I won't be updating for a week. Don't forget to reviw!**


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